Figuring it Out: Planning

I've noticed lately that there seems to be the key to "having it together", something I've been chasing ever since getting married. I've been trying to figure out the easiest, most efficient way to take care of all my "adult" responsibilities: finances, keeping a clean house, preparing meals, feeding the cats, etc. At first, I thought that all grown-ups pretty much had all that figured out.

That was my first mistake.

On this journey, I have to keep reminding myself that no one really has every piece fall into place every time. My role models and other adult friends have had years of practice under their belts, while I've only been playing the marriage game for about 5 months now. It's been difficult, but I have had to let go of perfection and be ok with "functional".

As I graze social media, it seems as though the average newly-wed couple probably:

• Has a shabby-chique apartment, complete with DIY refurbs of old barn doors, vintage windows, and coordinating paint.

• Cooks a gourmet meal every night, except for those nights when they hit the best local bars and restaurants downtown
• Hangs out with friends and throws dinner parties about once a week
• Thinks that a list of holiday gifts "under $100" is very reasonable (taken right from thenest.com)
• Is well on their way to buying a home

There are a ton more that I could list, but I believe it would suffice to say that there are a LOT of expectations thrust upon newlyweds that are, quite frankly, unrealistic. Now, you're probably thinking,"But everyone knows newlyweds are typically poor, living in a shabby studio somewhere, and eating ramen every night!" And you would be correct. However, sites like Pinterest and the Nest often lead us (women especially) to believe that we're not "handling it", or that we just don't "have it together". 

But just like the cover of Cosmo, or the beautiful actors and actresses we see on TV, we have to see past the illusion. I have to keep telling myself that it isn't real, and these are not real people. I have to remind myself that being away from home 12 hours at a time doesn't allow me to "DIY" everything. I have to keep reminding myself that not everyone keeps their house spotless all the time. Not everyone who gets married buys a house right away, especially if they're only 22 and straight out of college.

Sometimes, it's hard to remember that Hubby and I really do "have it together". We both have good jobs. We have a roof over our head and a good meal on the table every night. We have family that loves us, and even though the dishes may sit in the sink for a week day or two, we're doing just fine.

So if you're feeling the pressure, like you just don't "have it together", just remember-

You are "together" enough. You are good enough. You will be like your role model couple one day. 

It's just going to take some time, and planning. 

Oh yeah, planning. I guess that's what I was going to talk about...

So far, planning has helped me to feel like I really do "have it together". 

If I plan my meals out according to what we have going on that week, I don't end up cooking for just myself, or buying fast food, due to lack of time to make what we have. 

When I plan out finances for the pay period, we have a few dollars left over more often. 

When I put things on the calendar I don't double book myself.

As I "figure things out" and learn how to plan, I'll post it on here so maybe you can feel a little bit more "together" too :)